Thursday, 4 August 2016

Let's Get Listing ~ Books That Would Be Better With Assassins

Books with badass assassins are everything.

Whether it's Celaena in the Throne of Glass series with her tortured past and unparalleled skills, or the secretive ladies of the convent of St. Mortain from the His Fair Assassin series...male or female, good or bad, an assassin is always a winning addition to any book.

Actually *frowns* now that I think about it, it'd be nice if more books had assassins in them. It's a shame that some books missed out on all the mayhem and mischief an assassin could have brought to them.

So...what if we experimented?,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/1465483778761168015.gif

What if I took some popular YA storylines and added a bit of danger, intrigue, and - of course - death? Let's see what happens when you drop an assassin or two into a world that isn't their own. And who knows what kind of magic may occur?!

It's time to get listing and see if which popular books could do with an assassin makeover!

And for those of you who (like me!) love to read about assassins, Goodreads has a lovely long list filled to the brim with great assassin reads here. Enjoy!

Book: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Author: J.K. Rowling

Don't get me wrong I adore the Harry Potter series the way it is...but I will admit that there's a part of me that wonders what it would have turned out like if J.K. Rowling had added an assassin or two to the mix!

The only limit is your imagination. Whether you think Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Assassin would have made a catchy title, that Hogwarts could have been an awesome school for budding assassins, or you're pretty sure Professor McGonagall as an assassin would have had the stealth of a cat (*wink wink*) fact remains.

That if this series had had a decent assassin, Wormtail would have been a goner before you could say "Crumple-Horned Snorkack!"

Add the original book to your Goodreads bookshelf today!

Book: A Great and Terrible Beauty
Author: Libba Bray

My proposal: take the Gemma Doyle series and its Victorian boarding school/Gothic tale, and turn it into a Gail Carriger-esque school for female assassins.

A Great and Terrible Beauty (as well as the other books in the series) has such assassin potential! There's lots of night-time wanderings, secret meetings, and deadly truths. And some good-looking rogues who are most certainly up to no good!

Instead of the girls relying solely on their beauty and developing powers, I say we give them a dagger or two to even the odds!

Add the original book to your Goodreads bookshelf today!

Book: The Hobbit
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

'In a hole in the ground there lived an assassin. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole (...) it was an assassin-hole, and that means comfort.'

Now that's a book I'd read! 

A retired assassin gets contracted to help the dwarves get their mountain back...the non-peaceful way. Just picture a dragon vs assassin fight scene! We could even add in some assassin elves for good measure, just to make it that much more badass.

I just really like the idea of an assassin who's not totally confident in their abilities, likes to eat a lot, and is three feet tall! So basically me but without the awesome and badass skill set. Also I can't even handle seeing a kitten hurt its paw, so I'd make a truly terrible assassin.

Add the original book to your Goodreads bookshelf today!

Book: The Bad Beginning
Author: Lemony Snicket 

To make it a truly bad beginning why not raise the stakes? Yep I am very proud of my terrible pun!

Instead of starting off with three orphans being dropped off at foster home, after foster home, maybe it's time for the Baudelaire children to be in control of their own fate.

What if the three children weren't just talented and vulnerable, but trained in the assassin arts by their departed parents? And now they have one mission: to track down the people who murdered their parents and deliver them a swift and fitting end.

There are so many possibilities here! VFD could be an assassin guild/brotherhood that their parents left and eventually payed the price for leaving. Count Olaf and his numerous disguises, the numerous fires that burned away crucial evidence, the secret HQ...all of it could be taken to the next level with a sprinkling of assassins.

Add the original book to your Goodreads bookshelf today!


Book: The Selection
Author: Kiera Cass

Say goodbye to the America Singer you know...and say hello to my new undercover assassin!

America Singer is not here to play and has no time for the other thirty-four girls who're in the way of her target: Prince Maxon Schreave. Going undercover as a possible wife for the future king, America has a secret: she's been sent to kill the prince on behalf of a rebel group who wants an end to the Schreave family and their rule.

But when the time comes for her to rid the world of the prince, will she able to go through with it? Or will she pull an Ella Enchanted and totally chicken out?!

Now this is a book I would read! Cut out all the chatter about outfits and girly cat-fights, and insert some badass fighting sequences and midnight reconnaissance.  

Add the original book to your Goodreads bookshelf today!

Book: Why We Broke Up
Author: Daniel Handler

I remember reading this book and loving it...but I also thought, "Why is Min bothering to send her terrible ex boyfriend a box full of reasons why they broke up? There has to be a better way to send him a message."

*lightbulb moment*

Now...before you judge me, I am so not condoning offing your exes but just imagine how entertaining Why We Broke Up would have been if it had been Why We Broke Up (And Why I Am Probably Going To Assassinate You or Poison Your Tea)! Yep you can totally tell how sane and mature I well as how I will probably remain single forever lol.

Instead of crying over her ex and sending him a box of mementos, maybe Min should get out of the house and take some martial arts classes! She can start up a weapons collection, hone her skills, do something for herself for a change. And if he tries to re-enter her life and ruin things again...well, she's got the kickass skills necessary to make him cry like a baby ;)

Add the original book to your Goodreads bookshelf today!

BookThe Hunger Games
AuthorSuzanne Collins

*frowns* Umm you know what? 

I just realised something.

This one...this one doesn't actually need a lot of editing at all!

Instead of desperate/skilled/angst-ridden/brooding girls and guys being forced into an arena to fight to the death...just make them all deadly assassins!

An assassin vs assassin face-off in the deadliest version of Battle Royale ever. Also I'm pretty sure Peeta would be the very first bread-baking assassin ever.

Oh gosh, not to mention adding assassins in would make the Hanging Tree song just that much creepier...!

Add the original book to your Goodreads bookshelf today!

(NB: I was going to add the wonderful Reign of Shadows to this list but the series isn't over maybe there will be assassins, who knows?!)

Which of these would you read?! What favourite read of yours would you like to see get an assassin makeover?

Let me know in the comments below!

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